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How Do I Become Someone That Doesn't Drink Alcohol?


 

The man was picking up cigarette butts. 

One.

Two.

Three.

That man was me.

Rummaging through the lipstick-smeared butts, 4.13 in the morning, all the shops shut, the coin-operated car washes sleeping under the stars.

Me.

I was that man. 

Standing outside Po Wings. Forkless. Digging into the chow mein, fingers for chopsticks.

I was that man.

An open door. A child explodes like a volcano, gripping my trouser leg. 

“Play with me!”

“Play with me!”

“PLAY WITH ME!”

“In a bit, son.”

I blink, and it was time to take him to bed. A few pages of The Hobbit and I was back adding to the dirty dishes. No blush. No red. Nothing but a mind, dead. 

I was that man. 

My love.

My beautiful love. 

Where is she?

A back full of love bites. 

And.

Now.

Nothing but fights. 

I think I heard a scream. 

A shout.

I look around the house, and I see nothing but doubt. Tears stream down my face like they’ve eaten a fresh pear. I can’t do it. I can’t let go of the corkscrew; I do not dare.

I am that man.

A golf course full of mates holding clubs, staring at me, watching for my next move, before they decide to play the ball or me. 

I am something.

I am someone.

I am that man. 

Who am I without a bottle in my hand?

Who am I if I’m not pogoing before the band?

Checkmate.

The king has been on its side for a decade, and I still can’t begin a new game. Fear. Fear of life itself. Fear of being found out. Fear of falling off the monkey bars. Fear of all those memoirs. 

The cigarette butts, the Chinese takeaways, the son running around the house craving love, the woman silently screaming at the end of the fingers of Edvard Munch. 

There is no free lunch.

It’s time for the crunch.

I can no longer be that man.

I don’t want to be that man.

But how?

But how?

God.

Someone.

Anyone.

How?

I’m not alone.

Striver Karen asks, “how do I become someone that doesn’t drink alcohol?”

And that’s what we try to figure out in today’s podcast.

The Truth About Alcohol
We Are Not Alcoholics, And we Refuse to be Anonymous

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DISCLAIMER: PLEASE READ THIS CAREFULLY: This is not medical advice, and if you believe you require such advice, please seek immediate help from a medical professional. I am not a doctor or a medical practitioner. If you want to quit drinking and are worried about doing so, then in all cases you should first contact your doctor and seek advice and assistance. These are the tools that worked for me, and I share them with you as a learning tool. If you have sought or seek medical advice and or attention and any of these tools are in conflict with that advice or assistance, please do not use these tools. I take no responsibility for the continued use of these tools in contravention of any medical advice or assistance you have sought.